Hoorah for weddings!

When they are over, that is. This past weekend our son, Jeff, and his fiance, Brittany, got married in Cross Plains, Tennessee. That was our second wedding this Fall. Our daughter got married at the beach in September (See Sept. post). Planning weddings is a hassle. It's so much better when they are over.
Now we can be one big happy family.

This weekend was our first trip to Cross Plains, Brittany's home town. It is a very quaint little town with a Piggly Wiggly, a Dollar General, and a super old timey drug store with the best milkshakes and malts anywhere. We visited the old cemetery, walked along the creek, and even found an old farmhouse we might like to buy. The rehearsal dinner was in the Coffee Mill, a converted coffee shop that once was a bank with a Masonic Hall upstairs. The food and atmosphere were great.

We worried in September about hurricanes, but the weather cooperated. This past weekend in Cross Plains was absolutely beautiful with the yellow and orange maple leaves about half fallen. However, Jeff and Brittany went to the beach and guess what they faced, hurricane and thankfully tropical storm Ida. Well, at least it wasn't bad. All in all, a great wedding weekend!

One Wedding Down and One To Go

Last weekend was a very special weekend in our lives. Our youngest, Meredith, was married at the beach. This wedding took a lot of planning over the summer, and this was made more difficult by the fact that Meredith was away all summer directing a camp. Our early concerns were hurricanes, since this was the middle of hurricane season. As the day approached, we were simply concerned about rain or thunderstorms. While I was getting cleaned up for the event, a thunderstorm erupted just a mile or so from us and we got some sprinkles. A towel on the chairs took care of that. We had rented a six passenger golf cart for the day and that shuttled people from the house to the beach and back. We arrived right on time, and the event came off with just one little hitch. I dropped one of the rings into the sand. Oops.
It rolled off my Bible, but Sammy, the other minister, had his head bowed wiping the sweat out of his eye when the ring hit the sand. He saw exactly where it buried itself and reached down to retrieve it. What a relief! And, both mom and I were able to keep our emotions intact. This was difficult. I had conducted three weddings of people close to us, a nephew, a niece, and a long-time friend, and I had gotten emotional at each of these. But this was a great celebration. The food was plentiful, and everyone had a good time. Oh, but I said, "one to go" didn't I? Yes, our son and his fiance will wed in November in Tennessee. That one should prove less stressful.

I could not post this without a tremendous thank you to our friends Richard (photographer) and Linda, and Mike and Judy. They helped it to come off without a hitch and we got to enjoy it. Thanks, friend. You are friends, INDEED!

Cousins will always be family!

Family is something we are born into. We don't get to choose our parents, grandparents, our siblings or our cousins. Each year the extended May family gathers for an annual reunion at Clarkco State Park in Quitman, Mississippi. We have done that for the past 26 years. I have been blessed to be a part of every one of them. What started out with three siblings, and three of their sisters-in-law, after a few years was down to only first cousins, their children, and their grandchildren. We have seen this group that met previously only at funerals become more attached to each other and far better acquainted. We have seen cousins' grandchildren become acquainted with their relatives. This underscores the importance of family.

This year we were blessed with the attendance of some second cousins (folks who share a set of great grandparents), one of whom I had met while visiting in Las Vegas years ago, and two sisters and their husbands who I met for the very first time. The sisters have another cousin who had attended and had planned to come this year, but he had bypass surgery and was unable to make it. They came anyway and added a lot to our group. The cousin from Nevada came with his wife, and one of his daughters, her husband and their three children. These all added 11 to our number.

It oftens seems like a four day eating contest and I am struggling to take off what I added to my weight that week. We started on Wednesday night with the coastal cousins bringing the shrimp. On Thursday, my oldest brother, Mike, hosted the brothers and their families for dinner at his cabin. He cooks some mean vegetables. I hosted for steaks and hamburgers on Friday. Then we had our icecream fellowship Friday night. Saturday was the day for our big covered dish luncheon. Several drive in just for that event. We enjoy each other's company, looking at old pictures, swimming in the lake, playing cards, and visiting "Dirt Cheap" in Quitman.
The week went by so fast (we arrived on Wednesday and left on Sunday, so that is alsmost a week!). I look forward to 2010. Wish it were tomorrow!

Why Curiosity Killed the Cat

Last week was not what you would call a good week. My good friend and colleague, Gary, lost his 12 year old daughter after an almost two year battle with cancer. (I will post more about that later.)

On Wednesday I was doing the Facebook thing and got FB messages from a former student, and from the state Baptist exec., claiming to have tagged me in a photo or video. I bit, clicked on the link, and was hacked/phished, and totally embarassed. The worm/virus/trojan began sending vulgar messages to all my FB friends. Several replied immediately, and I got a warning message from a colleage soon after, but it was too late. A few FB friends were as curious as I had been and were infected as well. I am grateful that some friends knew I would not send them a suggestive or vulgar message and immediately deleted the message.

It took our IT guru most of Thursday and Friday to clean up the mess on our computers. I hope we are clean now.

It all began with my curiousity. I wanted to see what these friends had identified.
That was my downfall. I didn't check it out more thoroughly, and I, and many others, paid a great price. Be sure that I will check it out now before I click. If it is in any way suspicious, I will delete. I may miss a few good ones, but I will certainly eliminate a multitude of troubles.

Curiosity killed the cat, and it almost killed my computer and those in our office.

How important are birthdays to you?

I grew up in a home where we did not make a real big deal out of birthdays. I have some vague memories of my third birthday, but clear memories of my seventh birthday. We took a trip to Moundville, and I remember climbing on those mounds, seeing the burial sites, and enjoying a picnic there. I remember the Bible my Aunt Mary gave to me, a red-letter KJV with a zipper. I still have it. I also have memories of an earlier birthday party for my brothers who were twins, and the little boy who wanted to take the presents he brought home with him. Then there was the special surprise party given by a girlfriend and the guys who totally misled me about the event, telling me we were going to play putt-putt, but first they had to stop by Jana's to get some record albums(the CD's of our era). When the two guys went in, Don and I remained in the car. After several minutes, he said he thougth we should go in. I agreed. Little did I know that all those people were there for me! While I was in seminary, surprise parties were the going thing, and Helen surprised me and sent me off to the library to study for a while. I remember walking up the sidewalk and seeing a car that looked like one that a friend drove. Still, I was too dense to recognize what was happening. I tried to reciprocate the next year and took Helen to Lexington to get her out of the apartment while friends decorated. The problem was we got through early and I tried every delay tactic possible. We still arrived 15 minutes early. Feigning a rush to the bathroom, I managed to get in the apartment to get everyone to be ready for her entrance. IT worked. She was surprised.

Other than these, birthdays haven't been that big of a deal. I remember my 40th because I had to preach that day and was in the process of relocating to Troy.
I thought that was old, then, but little did I realize the real truth.
Forty is YOUNG!!!

This is birthday week for a special lady in my life.
I won't dare say how old, but not very old. Happy Birthday, Helen!!!!

Three Dozen Years

Most of you don't know it, but on this day thirty-six years ago, Helen and I were married at the Westview Baptist Church on Damascus Road in Enterprise, AL, Helen's home town. It was a sunny day, not quite as warm as today. The whole wedding event was fun, but I was certainly nervous. As far as weddings go, it was pretty big for a small town church--I had a best man, and three brothers and three friends as groomsmen. I am thankful to say I have kept up with each of the friends and see them from time to time. Helen had the comparable number of attendants. Several members of my family were able to come. One cousin and her husband arrived as we were exiting the church after the ceremony. We went to great lengths to hide our car, so much so that it took a long and circuitous route to retrieve it from the friend's garage. I just knew my three brothers would do it up badly if they found it. We left the church going the wrong direction to avoid followers, and actually had to come back by the church to get to the car's location.

Helen was a beautiful bride. We took most of our photos before the wedding. That eased my nerves considerably. So much for the tradition of bad luck seeing the bride before the wedding. We had 36 good years, not without challenges, but we have been richly blessed. Happy Anniversary? You bet!

Swimming Pools

Growing up I always dreamed of living in a house with a swimming pool. Now, much later in life, we actually have one. Last year we replaced the pool liner and converted it to a saline pool. Lots of folks don't realize what a saline pool is.
There is a special converter that converts the sodium cloride (NaCl- or salt) into chlorine, and this part is the main component of the switch. What I heard about reducing the upkeep is true, and my chemical bills have gone way down. I have had to add calcium, and stabilizer and salt. No longer am I ruining good clothes by getting chlorine on them. And, gone is that heavy chlorine smell. Oh, I forgot to mention how much better on your skin the salt water is. I still have to maintain it, but it is now much easier. I check the water every two weeks and make sure the right balances are there. Now, if it would just warm up enough to swim. We usually start when the water temp gets to about 80 degrees, and it's almost there. Splash!

Two Deaths

Today I learned of the death of two friends. The first was my colleague, John Long, who was serving as the Director of Missions for the Madison Baptist Association in Huntsville. John died this morning of a heart attack. I am deeply saddened. John was a long time friend and colleague. We were at Southern Seminary together for a brief time before John transferred. We really got acquainted in Huntsville where John was a pastor and I was the campus minister. I even tried to employ his wife, Robyn, as a graduate assistant to work with internationals at Alabama A&M. We moved to Montgomery in 1979 and John and Robyn came shortly afterwards. John served in "Discipleship Training" with the State Board of Missions for several years. I remember John was the first person who introduced me to "DiscipleNow" weekends for youth. Evidently in those day John and I looked a lot alike. We both were about the same height, wore glasses, had moustaches and had the same color hair. One day when I was in the Baptist Building, one of the new secretaries said to me, "Good morning, Mr. Long." We moved to Troy and did not have as much contact. John served as interim pastor at Dalraida Baptist Church. Later he became the Director of Missions for Baldwin Baptist Association, and then move back to Huntsville to be DOM. I saw John last week at the state Evangelism Conference. I am told he was in town in Montgomery Monday for a special meeting. What I can say about John is that he was deeply committed to God and to the ministry God had given him. He was solid, insightful, and steady--a good friend. Our sympathies go out to Robyn and the family.

The second death I learned about was the death of Dr. David Browning. Dr. Browning, who served as pastor of FBC Troy and Valley Park Baptist, befriended me after I moved to Montgomery to be campus minister at ASU where, after leaving Troy, Dr. Browning taught philosophy. While teaching there, he served as bi-vocational pastor of the Mountain Hill Baptist Church in the southern part of our county for about 14 years.. I preached there several times after he resigned. He did a very good job at Valley Park and after retiring again, moved to North Carolina. They relocated back to the Auburn/Opelika area a few years ago. I bumped into one of the former Valley Park members in Sam's a few minutes ago and he told me about Dr. Browning's death. He lived a long and productive life, and would have been effective as an Episcopalian, a Presbyterian or something else, but he chose to remain a Baptist.
Thank you for your contribution, Dr. Browning.

Visiting Fort Deposit

One of the churches in the association where I serve is Bethel Baptist in Fort Deposit. It is one of the oldest churches in our association, and geographically is one of the southernmost. It takes about 45 minutes to drive there from our house. One of the side attractions while visiting there is the opportunity to visit Priester's Pecans on I-65.
Helen and I got caught in construction traffic in Montgomery and were a few minutes late for the service. Eric, the pastor, was a student involved in our BCM while he was a student in Troy. His wife, Vickie was also a student during those years. They have done well at Fort Deposit. After church one of the deacons and his wife took us all (Eric and Vickie, daughter and son) to eat at Priester's, an unexpected but certainly appreciated gesture. We enjoyed our meal.

Eric is the director of the River Region Chaplain Service, a newly formed 501-c-3 ministry that originated as a police chaplaincy ministry in our association. Now they have launched out on their own with our blessing. Nine volunteer chaplains serve the Montgomery Police Department, Montgomery Sheriff's Office, Emergency Communications, Montgomery Fire Department, and now have spread across the river to Prattville and Millbrook. Say a pray for Eric. He has a lot on his plate and is doing a great job.

Eating at Red's

Just south of Montgomery on AL Hwy 94, between US 231 and Ramer, sits Red's Little School House Restaurant. Locals know all about it. Others need to know, so I am telling you.

Here's the story as I understand it.
Red wanted to open an antique store and his daughter, Debbie, wanted to open a barbeque restaurant. They decided to try both for a short while and see which one did better. (I don't know if this is really true or not, but it sounds good!) The Barbeque won. My first taste of Red's was back in the early 1980's when we ordered some Ribs for a staff party. I don't remember my first trip to the old school house, but it has been repeated many times over. Helen and I had lunch there on Sunday. (In case you are going, it's open Wed - Sunday). They have a menu but most folks enjoy the buffet. The fried chicken is the best, the barbeque is very good, and the apples and cheese are out of this world. There are usually a number of vegetables, and most of the time the peas are home grown. Don't forget the pies!!Chocolate Meringue, Pecan, and Coconut Meringue are outstanding.

Last year when I preached a revival at the church Debbie belongs to, we got a bag of those fresh peas put in our back seat. And, when the church has a pot luck dinner, those pies from Red's tend to show up. I have taken a whole one home with me before.

So, friends, stop by and see Debbie some time, and tell her I sent you!

Peas and Cornbread

When I was growing up we would occasionally have "peas and cornbread" for supper. Of course, most of the time we had a meat and some vegetables, but every once in a while it was "peas and cornbread." Well, when I got in from work this evening, Helen said she was cooking some black eyed peas. "That's all I have cooked," she said. "Well," I said, "do you want me to cook some cornbread?" And of course I got started. It was really close because we almost did not have enough cornmeal mix. (I use Martha White self-rising corn meal mix!) My recipe uses non-fat yogurt in the mix instead of oil, but of course I put a little oil in the iron skillet. It turned out great!!! Maybe it was the best cornbread I have ever made! It sure was good!
The peas were great, too! Helen cooked them with onions and they tasted super!

All you cornbread conniseurs, I have a question. When you hear the word "cornbread" what do you think of. For me, it was always baked in an iron skillet or in iron muffin or corn stick pans. When Helen and I were dating, I learned about fried cornbread. I did not like it as well as baked. Her mother, and all the friends down in the Wiregrass call my kind of cornbread, "eggbread." I had never heard of the term "eggbread." To me it was just cornbread! I will have to admit that when we go to Red's Little School House Restaurant in Dublin, south of Montgomery, I have to eat their fried cornbread. It's the best ever made.

Walking Early in the Morning

I finally have gotten back in the habit of taking that early morning walk. For the past few years, I walked with a neighbor or two very early in the morning. My Indian neighbor moved away from the neighborhood in May and away from Montgomery in August. I continued to walk until I suffered a severe sprain of my ankle in August. This has resulted in pesistent foot pain, usually aggravated by the particular shoes I wear. A few times I have walked with some other neighbors, an older cute couple who walk religiously every morning and whoever happened to be with them.

Last week I got back in the routine with one of my former collegiate ministry students, Luke. We walk 2.5-3 miles each morning beginning around 5:25 or 5:30.
Luke was a student in my earlier days at AUM and served on our leadership team. He owns a business and serves as a bivocational pastor in a neighboring town. We get to talk "shop" when we want to, something my Hindu/professor did not really enjoy.
Not only are the walks good for my body, they do my mind and spirit good too. This morning we made the 3 mile route. Maybe some day I will return to jogging. See you in the morning, Luke.

Yard Sales

Saturday I held a yardsale in Enterprise to try to get rid of some stuff we had accumulated. I did not know how it was going to go, because the weather was very cold early, and I did not put an ad in the paper. I did put up seven signs around at some busy intersections, and the overall traffic was good. I sold most of the stuff and came out pretty good. I sold zero books, even at $1 or $2 for hardbacks. I had an almost new Mr. Coffee in the box and it did not sell. THere were some clothes that did not sell and one Angel from Christmas that a lady offered me 50 cents for. I was insulted. Those unsold items were donated to the Christian Mission. I even sold a pair of my old shoes and one man came back at five and wanted the shirt he had not purchased that morning. Of course, it was gone, and it was not one I gave to the Christian Mission. I gave my brother-in-law the corner desk for his bedroom and my mother-in-law took three little left over items. I was glad for them to have those things.

Two of the best sales were the washer bought by a young lady and the apartment stove bought by a man whose other one had stopped working. I also sold an old window air conditioner.

The man who came back for the missing shirt wanted me to have another sale next month. Ha! That is just way too much work. I would have to accumulate more stuff to junk up the house I am working on, and I certainly don't want to do that. But if I do, I will let you all know so you can come buy some stuff.

Shocco Springs

I wrote a wonderful blog the other night while I was sitting up in my bed with my computer on my lap. The setting was Shocco Springs where I was present for a trustee summit, and since I serve as a trustee for Shocco Springs Baptist Assembly and Camps, I thought perhaps a few of us should attend. However, attempting to correct some spelling or grammar, I must have hit two buttons at once, and those wonderful words went to ethernet land, whereever that is.

First of all, let me tell you that I LOVE SHOCCCO. It is a long lasting love affair.
My first visit/stay was in 1961 for Church Music Week. I stayed at the then 'new' Mt. Moriah Hotel. It was nice for the time period. We took a group from our church. I "studied" beginning music reading and beginning voice. Our project for the week was to learn and sing Mendelsohn's oratorio, Elijah. David Ford, then a young man, was the baritone soloist. Charles Crocker sang the tenor solos. Eleanor Ousley was a soloist as well, and Dr. John Sims, directed the mass choir. I remember the great family style meals, the swimming pool adjacent to the snack bar in front of the auditorium, filled with cold green spring water. I remember the old hotels "500" and "400" and the cottages. RA campers were in cabins up the hill and Mr. B (F. Eugene Brasher), our minister of music, took us guys up a hill through the woods (seemed like forever) to a field to play football.

My next trip came during the Spring of 1968, as I delivered the Jacksonville State Baptist Student Union Choir to sing at the Spring Leadership Conference for BSU leadership. Of course, we sang and got back on the bus and I took them home. The next year, however, I was an attendee at the conference. During those days, we stayed in the cottages where you did not have any heat, and you had to furnish your own linens. Those were fun times, except when it turned cold.

The summer of 1968 I worked at the adjacent Royal Ambassador Camp for boys. That camp was operated separately from Shocco by the Brotherhood Department of the State Baptist Convention Executive board. Our outstanding director was Clayton Gilbert, a super individual who taught me many things (maybe a post for that alone)about leadership, myself, and serving God. I will also save RA Camp for another post.

During those days the Shocco summer staff was composed of a few college students and many high school students. The GA (Girls Auxiliary) Camp was up the hill behing Shocco. RA staffers often dated the Shocco staffers or the GA staffers.
Dr. Waymon Reese was the director the first two years I was at camp. Dr. George Ricker came in 1970. Dr. Reese usually had a couple on staff who helped chaperone and manage the summer staff. He did not put restrictions on some of the college students, and I remember a few who lived in cottage "G" and they did not have a curfew. When Dr. Ricker came, he stated very convincingly that he believed in the Virgin Birth, the Inspiration of Scripture, the Second Coming, etc, AND CURFEW.

Helen came to work in the office the summer after her freshman year at junior college. That summer I was the assistant director of RA Camp and Stan Stepleton was the director. Mr. G had resigned and left in May and we were quick fill ins.
One of my jobs each day was to pick up the mail, both at the post office and at the Shocco office. So, I got to know the girls in the office. They were a very friendly bunch. I was not. But they managed to engage me in some conversation, though since I was a college grad, I thought these were just kids.
Well, later I double dated with Helen, Debbie G. and Johnny C. We went bowling.
Nearer to the end of camp, I wrecked my Opal Cadet on the camp road. Helen offered to sell her car to me, but I would have to take her home after camp was over. Well, she has been my wife for almost 36 years, so you know Shocco is special.
When I wanted to take her to Jacksonville one day and evening to meet my friends, Dr. Ricker got her to get her mother on the phone to get permission. He did look after his staffers.

Five summer on camp staff were enough for me, but that did not end my Shocco days.
We took college students there every Spring and some Fall's for 19 years, took a youth retreat there, and I spent numerous cold days in January at staff retreat.
I have attended Sunday School conferences, Brotherhood conferences, music and youth conference, campus ministry retreats, associational leadership retreats and many other events there.

This past December Shocco celebrated our 60th annivesary. Helen and I sttended the weekend and reuninted with some old friends and made some new ones. Dr. Ricker released his book on the history of Shocco. (It's a great read.) We reunited with another couple that met at Shocco. They married in the chapel in 1969 and I served as best man. She had been the food service manager and he had served with me at RA Camp. Back in the early 90's, our sons were in the same camp group at RA Camp one week. Talk about coincidences, or is it Providence.

For the past five years I have served on the Board of Trustees at Shocco. It is just one way for me to promote the facility and give back to the place that gave me so many great life experiences.

I met a new cousin/figuring out relationship

Most of the folks who know me know I love doing genealogy, and am considered the source for information among my cousins for information on the May and Quinn families. Last night I had the wonderful privilege of meeting face to face for the first time, Mike and Mary Ellen. We had corresponded for several years via email, and had shared information. Mike and I are fourth cousins-twice removed on the May side. What does that mean? It means that his g.g.g.g.g.grandfather(Philip H. May) is my g.g.g.grandfather. What is totally wierd, is that we are actually more closely related on my mother's, mother's, father's, father's, mother's side. Got that?
We are fourth cousins ONCE removed on the Coffee side. BUT if you go back one more generation, Mary Ellen and I are related, TOO. (yes, that means she is distantly related to her husband - but weren't FDR and Eleanor cousins?)

Here is the easy way to understand - persons who share grandparents are cousins, or first cousins. Those who share great-grandparents are second cousins. If on either side one individual is a generation off, that is once removed. My first cousin's child is NOT my 2nd cousin, but is my first cousin, once removed. My second cousin's grandchild is not my 4th cousin, but is my second cousin, twice removed. Thus Mike's grandfather and I would be fourth cousins, and Mike is twice removed from that. Got it?

Now, to the good part. Mike and Mary Ellen took me to a wonderful steak place for dinner, the Railhead. We had a great visit over dinner, and then a very enjoyable time back at their lovely home. I probably stayed too long, but I just love getting to know my kinfolk. Thanks, Mike and Mary Ellen, for your wonderful hospitality.

Sanding floors

Almost five years ago, Helen and I purchased the empty house next door to her mother. It needed a lot of attention and we wanted to control who lived next door. Since that time I have been working on the house in my (spare?) time. (Helen helped some at first.) That has meant that several other things have had to take the back seat (or the trunk), like golf, visits with friends and relatives, etc.

Last week I decided to try to get some donated cabinets out of the way by working on the kitchen. This meant I had to get the wood floors in shape before setting the cabinets. There was just one problem. We had removed a wall to extend the size of the room, but the old kitchen had linoleum flooring attached to the wood with something like tar, and then had a vinyl on top of that. Originally most of it came up, but there were a few areas, about 12-16 square feet, that did not come up. So, I broke down and rented a sander and got started. I now have a very sore blister on my ring finger.(Yep, I forgot to take off my wedding band as I worked.) But the good news is, with a litte more sanding, the floor will be ready to finish and it looks great! And, I finished setting the cabinets. Thanks to our friends, the Jenkins, I will only have to purchase one 36" wall cabinet, and new countertops. (They donated the cabinets when they renovated their kitchens a few years ago.)

The question I get most often is, "When will you finish?" I really don't know, but I hope it is in 2009.

Here is what we have gotten accomplished so far: removed part of wall in kitchen to enlarge to the back door area and eliminated one doorway leading out of kitchen, completely rewired the house (with very able assistance from my electrician brother in law, Buck), tiled two bathrooms and one laundry room (had to level the floor here), completely insulated the attic, plumbed for new cutoffs in kitchen, completely reworked every window (well, a few are at home waiting their final work) and painted all windows, added storm windows, installed vinyl siding on all outside walls, soffits, and garage, tore off rotting porch on back and completely rebuilt, replaced flooring on front porch, removed unsightly shed over underhouse access, had kitchen and closet re-drywalled, installed new toilet and lavatory in front bath and put in beadboard walls-painted that entire bath, replaced some exterior fascia boards (rest need to be replaced), patched and sealed chimney and painted it, put in handrail for back porch, build new steps between house and garage, tore out fixtures in back bedroom bath and removed window over tub, reworked hall closet to make more space, enlarged scuttle hole to attic in middle bedroom closet(where I fell through and hurt my knee), and kept the yards in order (mostly by Buck).
I am sure there is more, but I really don't want to think about it now. It makes me tired.

What's left? Finish windows, replace fascia boards, reroof, have central heat/AC installed, sand and finish all floors, paint all walls, tile countertop in laundry and paint cabinets, paint and rework closets, install one ceiling fan, route dryer vent to outside,put tub surround on rear bathroom and install toinlet and lavatory, patch and sand walls where needed (lots of places)-pour driveway and repair side porch. Install new doors in a few places and finish redoing door facings, put quarterround down on all baseboard after finishing floors and probably three dozen other things. Any volunteers?